Murphy’s’ old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said, “Hey, Murph! You just had you a son! Ain’t dat grand?!”
Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, “Hold on! We ain’t finished yet!”
The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, “Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter!!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too”
Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, “Hold on, we ain’t got done yet!“ The doctor then delivered another boy and said, “Murph, you just had yourself another boy!”
Murphy said to the doctor, “Doc, what caused all of dem babies?”
The doctor said, “You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.”
Murphy said, “Ah yeah, during conception.”
When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, “Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?
She said, “Yeah, I remember dat night.”
Murph said, “I’ll tell you, it’s a freakin’ good ting we didn’t use WD-40!”
In der Ruhe liegt die Kraft!
Und deshalb mache ich heute ganz viel Nix!
Strength lies in silence!
Therefore, today I will do nothing!
Anything is possible when a squirrel hides the nuts.
Just when you think you’ve made the right choice!
Three men went to hell. The devil said to them “You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3.” He then opened the doors to the three rooms.
Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.
Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.
Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in crap up to their knees and drinking coffee.
The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.
They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said “OK men, coffee breaks over. Back on your heads.”